Tuesday, June 9, 2009

$6 t-shirts


$6. Americans are disturbingly rude about their politicians. LOLZ U IS STALIN!!!! All I can think of right now are Sarah Palin heads stuck on nude bodies on teh internets. Really rude.

I had to click on this one to find out what the mouth-breathed explanation would be. From the reviews:

Only in America would anyone even consider this plausible. Dudes, you have no idea what socialism is. You've been living to the right of every other country on the planet for the past 30 years.

Great. I'm sure this will sell well in Alabama where half the people have to have shit read to them. WTF? Oh, and for the dumbfucks fearing this so-called 'socialism', how's that good ol' American capitalism treating you? Maybe when you lose your job (like 1 out of 10 of us already have) and have to rely on government programs you'll have another name for it. And when that runs out, you can eat this fucking shirt.

Summed up:

It is a shirt. This is a website that sells shirts.

Moving along then...

$6. At 'Value Village' I often run into shirts for sale that are emblazoned with stuff like ROGER REDDY'S HWY 61 FORD-CHEVY BREAST CANCER FUNDRAISING DAY 2004 -- SNACK BAR STAFF, and I think, "I know it's brand new and only $2, but still, who's going to buy this?" It finally hit me the other day: hipsters with attics. You could sit on that junk for twenty years and sell it for $25 once the date got old enough and the font sufficiently kitschy. (They have this idea already, but the shirt is too fake-y.)

Anyway. A shirt with POOP on it is never going to work for anybody but the most useless sort of sub-clinical fetal alcohol syndrome victim. Yuk yuk yuk my shirt says shit.

Yuk yuk yuk.

Then there are ones like these:

which leave me puzzled over whose leg is being pulled...

1 comment:

  1. I thought you were going to have some extremely funny funniness about expensive used mattresses. But it's still just the t-shirts. And I've seen these before. I'm all laughed out.