Handmade underpants.

"Because the sides tie for a custom fit, sizing is very adaptable and forgiving." Nothing, it turns out, says "sexy" like handmade underpants you bought on the web.



Etsy, of course. Presumably kin to this adult diaper:



A relative bargain at $10. "MODELLED BY MY SEXY 44 YEAR OLD PARTNER YOU WILL RECIEVE A FRESH MADE ONE AS HE'S PUT ALL THE SAMPLES IN HIS DRAWER:)" In a paper bag, under an old sweater. Please never mention them again.