Listing LOLZ.

Designer Fashion Hanger

2009-07-27T09:04:00.000-07:00

Calvin Klein Designer Pants/Skirt Fashion Hanger. Excellent condition. Measures 14 1/4" l. I have many more women's accessories available in my ebay store :)

$5. Again, the hopeful ":)"

Bonanzle is new to me but it looks like it'll be a...a bonanzle of LOLZ.

Nebraskan Entrees

2009-07-16T07:36:00.000-07:00

Entrees as interpreted by the Lincoln, Nebraska public school system.

"Chicken Fingers"

"Fiestada"

"Chicken Ranch Salad"

The salads are probably the worst, teaching as they do that salads are things to be feared and that one's cheap meat and cheese is better deposited on old tortilla chips.

Not pictured here: Nebraska bun. ?

"One-piece formal wear"

2009-07-16T05:33:00.000-07:00

"I weared it to X-mas party." The idea of "one-piece formal wear" that was not a gown intrigued. Predictably, it is "Polyester & spandex for elasticity." "Top is attached to pants, a zip on the back, strips, sleevless." And the seller has done some modelling, natch.

Very nice, you say, at least for one-piece poly XL maternity wear. But then comes the WTF punch:

!!??

Aprons to make your child cry

2009-07-15T09:36:00.000-07:00

"Mother Daughter Cafe Apron Set"

With Kotex applique.

With WTF.

Flying turtlebee?

I imagine she finds the cling-with-thumb cute, but I find it bizarre to use that here. That thumb-in, clinging-to-Mummy state is a very vulnerable one, and normally a relatively private one. Using it to sell aprons is maybe not the best idea. Time to put the digital camera down and make with the hugs, here.

I am A FREAK

2009-07-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

This neglected child SHOUTED HIS WHOLE AD on OkCupid, and is offering an extraordinarily bad deal.

THE WOMAN FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO RECEIVE THIS UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY WILL BE FULLY AWARE THAT THE VALUE OF A QUALITY, FULL BODY SUIT IS $50,000 TO $500,000. IN EXCHANGE FOR ALLOWING ONLY ARTISTS FROM MY SHOP TO WORK ON HER BODY SUIT AND FOR AGREEING TO A LONG TERM ASSOCIATION WITH MY PROJECT IN WHICH SHE WORKS AS A SIDESHOW PERFORMER AND SUPER-MODEL, SHE WILL RECEIVE THE WORK AT A DISCOUNTED RATE AND WILL RECEIVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO EARN THE TATTOOS BY HELPING ME AS MY PART-TIME SALES REPRESENTATIVE (NO MONEY INPUT REQUIRED ON YOUR PART EVER)

Tr.: work for me under long-term contract -- unpaid. Among other requirements, this BEAUTY (BY MODELING STANDARDS) must be INTELLIGENT AND INTERESTED IN ALL MY INTERESTS (THESE ARE MY BUSINESS'S INTERESTS AS WELL EG. TATTOOS, SIDESHOWS, PUNK ROCK). Also must like teh cock.

I AM EXTREMELY SERIOUS AND HAVE SIGNIFICANT RESOURCES AT MY DISPOSAL. Apply now.

No good, awful, terrible, very bad jeans.

2009-06-28T10:40:00.000-07:00

Christian Dior jeans. Purportedly. More "designer" chav denim from China:

The jeans the not very popular kid got for Christmas in 1984. Which made everybody feel bad for him, because everybody knew they were on sale for $9.99 at Warren's and only the worst sort of Mom or Dad would try to pass off the on-sale unsalable jeans as a Christmas present. And you looked at them and thought if you took that stupid-ass chain off and stopped tucking in your awful acrylic sweaters you could almost pretend they were just some old gray jeans, but no...you like the chain. Loser.

But these relatively honest frauds pale in comparison to wayofthelittleflower's stuff.

Crystal barbed-wire mom jeans,
$130

"Painted fire crystal jeans," $150

"Hollister Emilio Pucci scarf patched Swarovski jeans," $150. "Custom destroyed in all the right places and patched with a vintage Emilio Pucci silk scarf." The combination of Swarovski plus Pucci plus Hollister =

Idiot tax = $5

2009-06-13T05:29:00.000-07:00

From the Giant Tiger flyer.

I'm not quite sure what the deal is with this one. Usually these things are sadly transparent -- if it was in a Burberry plaid you could be reasonably confident that its hapless buyer would be a chav seeking a little touch of tough; if it had a Chanel logo, the class insecurity issues* would be clear. But what message is the Coors Light chair offering, and why is it worth a premium? I'm at a loss.

* For related LOLZ check out this grasping People can always tell when you're wearing a fake and it makes you look ignorant! rant.

Hard times.

2009-06-12T06:21:00.000-07:00

I have a box of stuff for use in the kitchen...
$15
Pick up only

Via Craigslist. You know it's going to be bad when the seller couldn't even bother to straighten it up a bit before photographing it. However, pots are useful, and this is not the worst of today's cull.

Queen's University Belfast Spiral Notebooks
2 available: $10 each or both for $15
Brand new in perfect shape

CL again. Quoi? Why on earth would this person even fantasize that somebody might buy a notebook from him, let alone for $10 a go? The same (apparently, given the background) drug addict is also offering this:

Shoe bag / toiletry kit
From Lufthansa Business Class
Toiletry kit includes mask, socks, toothpaste, toothbrush.
Comes in a bag that is perfect for shoes.
Four available: $5 for one bag, $15 for all four.

I love his quantity discounts...

From Nepean comes

MUST SELL! ODDS AND ENDS - $15

Moving, Must Get Rid of! Must Pick up by Friday the 12th!

- desk lamp
- silver ware holder
- binder
- chocolate molds
- cutting board
- apple cutter
-ice cube tray
- 2 shaker tins
- freezer mug
- door hanger
- st. patricks mugs
- sturdy milk crate
- black metal waste basket
- wall filler
- crayons
- sunglasses
- duct tape
- belt
- bubble straws
- playing cards
- green and blue plastic bins
- origial foam board art

Why does she* think she's not going to need duct tape again? Mystifying!

There is an important lesson here, which is: whether or not you can eventually sell it on Craigslist is a good way to gauge whether something is a nice object or a useless bit of tat. If it is not something you can use up and, like plastic St Patty's mugs, it is something nobody in their right mind would ever buy off you, it's probably garbage best left in the store. It is not thin plastic bags from shops which are ruining the planet, but the overconsumption of this sort of schlock. That and the overproduction of necessary but shoddy goods -- the first ad is a good argument in favour of buying only the nicest sort of saucepan in lieu of several middling-to-lousy sets throughout your life.

* I cannot imagine a he having a pastel tablecloth with a wee vase of something on it.

$6 t-shirts

2009-06-09T09:51:00.000-07:00

W...t...f?

$6. Americans are disturbingly rude about their politicians. LOLZ U IS STALIN!!!! All I can think of right now are Sarah Palin heads stuck on nude bodies on teh internets. Really rude.

I had to click on this one to find out what the mouth-breathed explanation would be. From the reviews:

Only in America would anyone even consider this plausible. Dudes, you have no idea what socialism is. You've been living to the right of every other country on the planet for the past 30 years.

Great. I'm sure this will sell well in Alabama where half the people have to have shit read to them. WTF? Oh, and for the dumbfucks fearing this so-called 'socialism', how's that good ol' American capitalism treating you? Maybe when you lose your job (like 1 out of 10 of us already have) and have to rely on government programs you'll have another name for it. And when that runs out, you can eat this fucking shirt.

Summed up:

It is a shirt. This is a website that sells shirts.

Moving along then...

$6. At 'Value Village' I often run into shirts for sale that are emblazoned with stuff like ROGER REDDY'S HWY 61 FORD-CHEVY BREAST CANCER FUNDRAISING DAY 2004 -- SNACK BAR STAFF, and I think, "I know it's brand new and only $2, but still, who's going to buy this?" It finally hit me the other day: hipsters with attics. You could sit on that junk for twenty years and sell it for $25 once the date got old enough and the font sufficiently kitschy. (They have this idea already, but the shirt is too fake-y.)

Anyway. A shirt with POOP on it is never going to work for anybody but the most useless sort of sub-clinical fetal alcohol syndrome victim. Yuk yuk yuk my shirt says shit.

Yuk yuk yuk.

Then there are ones like these:

which leave me puzzled over whose leg is being pulled...

Seriously unprofessional cupcakes

2009-05-30T08:03:00.000-07:00

Seriously unprofessional cupcakes, $85

Cupcake Party !!! 
Let us host your next birthday party! 
Included in the price are … 
• 24 display cupcakes on carousel wheel 
• Handcrafted, plastic apron for each child with logo 
• 1 decorated, candled cake in shape of cupcake 
• 12 plain cupcakes, sprinkles and topping for “Cupcake Creation Area” 
        where partygoers create their own cupcakes! 
• Extra: If desired, theme invitation and grab-bags can be added! 
Cost for this fun time is only $85!

If your Mom did this it would be more or less okay, but past that, the shoddiness of the work is going to be apparent. And, for eighty-five bucks?!? What the hell is this lady thinking? It's almost bad enough for Cake Wrecks.

If that wasn't enough disappointment for one party, you can buy $3 worth of dollar-store decorations and gently used paper plates for $25.

What's behind these prices? Gambling debt?

I could not resist clicking on Is your child attending a birthday party in June? - $10, which turned out to be

with even more sales patter:


Don't be caught shopping at the last minute. 
Ceramic Pet Dish Kit 
Paint a sturdy ceramic pet dish in any style for your favourite four-legged friend. Ages 7 and up. 

Never opened. Includes dish, paint and brush. 

Originally $16.99+taxes.

I like the enthusiasm with the naked greed. This sort of tat goes on sale all the time, $3.99 at Winners, but: Don't be caught shopping at the last minute. Drive cross-town to give this yutz $10!

"Mom, you spent all the money on cupcakes that look like they fell on the floor, my BFF gave me a pet bowl and I don't even have a pet, and there are stains on the fire truck napkins. How can you make my party any worse?"


Having a childs birthday party? As seen in the pic I have
several items used to make up loot bags for children 3-13! 
All items are brand new. everything from giant pencils to 
light up pens to sticky hands to frisbees! and much more. 
I have a few hundred available. I will supply 6 items per 
loot bag. Each loot bag sells for $4. (items are worth .75 to 3.$) 
Let me know how many loot bags you'll need :)

Nothing in the picture is "worth" even 75c, but I like the optimistic ":)."

And one in the stink

2009-05-29T10:52:00.001-07:00

I -- not a prude by any stretch of the imagination -- was shocked to see these in a Victoria's Secret catalogue that arrived yesterday:

4 SRS? I mean, I thought of them as a sort of mainstream underwear retailer, not a hardcore sex shop.

They seem so outright dirty that I assume the male equivalent must be these:

...which we can be grateful are not combined with this:

Can you imagine how revolting if there was a penis emblazoned on the brown and yellow shreddies? Okay. So probably neither idea was a good one, then.

Guest snark -- M. Piper

2009-05-27T04:18:00.000-07:00

Risible 'fashion' courtesy Etsy; comments courtesy Mark Piper.

Reversible Two Sided Collar

"On my planet, we wear these to store the health-giving Nerdoid radiation which protects us from ever having to make conversation..."

WildFlower Medallion Obi Belt

"I am strong in The Force - but I'm also fabulous."

Ripstop Nylon Party Dress in Wine

"Oooh, Jennifer, mom is going to be so pissed at the hole you cut in the pool cover."

ed. note: What a surprise to find all three of these items are currently on sale! Don't delay, etc.

Steamed double penis

2009-05-25T08:14:00.001-07:00

I am a great fan of allrecipes.com not because I want a new way to use up the leftover Velveeta, but because I like sniggering at the white trashiness of the content. The site has an entire section given over to recipes involving canned cream of mushroom soup. The latter includes an appalling recipe for baby food made with canned soup ("Sodium: 587mg").

Naturally, people enjoy posting pictures.

...supposedly chicken salad. "Those are the leftovers from lunch." Great, pal. Pitch it or cover it and put it in the fridge -- don't goddam take a picture of it.

Here is steamed double penis after a big sneeze

Actually Hot Dog a la Potato. You know without clicking through that the cheese specified is "American." I don't wish to snark on people eating comfort-food crap with cheese nuked on, which can be enjoyable, but...posting "recipes" for it? With a photograph? Tragically, they've made even mac and cheese look inedible:

Rather inexplicably the site includes "recipes" for exotic creations such as Sweetened Whipped Cream, the addition of sugar having heretofore been a trade secret. Much like epicurious.com's Salted Water for Boiling "recipe." The rub lies in the reviews; epicurious.com got nothing but snark for its boiled water, but allrecipes.com has tapped an audience of people for whom whipping cream was a genuine novelty. This recipe works like a charm! So quick and simple, no need to buy the stuff in the can!

FS: unreliable birth control

2009-05-24T08:38:00.000-07:00

The real problem with this shit is that it is contagious. Somebody will see this, and think "Gosh, I didn't know you could sell that sort of thing on-line. I still have most of that box of tampons from Costco that I never finished because they were so leaky. It was $20, too, so maybe I can get something for them," and a photograph of a dented box of tampons will go up...

prophylactic and test paper for pregnancy

$10 prophylactic
$3 test paper for pregnancy

("Alesse" is a brand of birth control pills.)

The shape of LOLZ

2009-05-24T04:05:00.000-07:00

theshapeofamother.com is a great, if unintentional, source of teh LOLZ. It is seemingly nothing but girls who had a baby and who now look fine posting pictures of themselves thin saying "See how hideous I am" in order to get a pile-up of people posting "You look awesome and I wish I could be you!" or, girls who had a baby and who are now fat, posting pictures of themselves in order to hear a lot of "Me too."

Many are teen-agers. Here's Britney, who says "I hate being body continuous[sic]. I’ve never been like this before!"

Yeah, you can totally tell she was never "body continuous" before what with the heels and bikini snaps. Here's her "after" shot:

Ha ha, u is tramp.

Mummy of two darlings moans when I look at my belly I feel so disappointed. I wouldn’t change having my children for any model’s body, and having to experience both my babies fight in hospital has made me so thankful for what I have. I am slowly learning to accept my new body and realise that the old one is gone for good. I am never going to look like my baby-less friends but I have something far more precious than their flab free, stretch mark free tummies! Yeah, I'm not really buying the lack of envy for a "model's body."

But how horrible is Two Darlings' "baby belly I am still trying to accept"?

Eww, hideous!

Is it wrong to LOLZ at this? I don't think so, especially not when they post dross like There were stretch marks there, but they were as sand beneath my fingertips, gentle ripples to echo the motion of the tide against the shore; the swelling tide of pregnancy and the receding tide of birth... And when they're not spouting nonsense, they're just plain shallow. Few of these girls are realistic about anything, and the site's a clusterfuck of encouragement for their delusions.

The Bridesmaid's Dilemma.

2009-05-16T08:54:00.000-07:00

Bridesmaid's dresses are not really 'dresses' per se. They're more like costumes. Badly sewn (see above) polyester costumes. So what to do with them after the wedding? Well, you could do what my aunt once did, viz: give it to your niece for her dress-up box. Man, I got a lot of mileage out of that bizarre gown...

However, the used bridesmaid's dress in the closet + free classifieds is too much of a lure for the greedy, and thus there is a great deal of

Five Alfred Angelo Cinnamon dresses. Brand new, never worn. Paid $231.65 each (proof of purchase available). Would like to sell each one for $150 ... better deal if you buy all five.

Sizes : 6 - 14 -16 - 18 - 22

and

I paid $200 for it and letting it go at $125. A great deal!

on Craigslist et al. As though it were really likely that somebody else happens to have a collection of five naked bridesmaids, one medium, two large, two XL. And this somebody else has no interest in being able to choose from a variety of dresses, and 35% off -- 35% off clothing, a commodity without a fixed price which goes on sale all the damn time -- would make these things with their funny smells in the armpit and sticky ? on the hem suddenly appealing.

Oh, come now. Bring it to the Sally Ann or your niece...

...you knew it was bad when you cropped your head off.

Bridesmaids' dresses, even new, invariably come with the same sort of built-in warning that Reitman's and other bad-idea cheap clothing ads do, viz:

if it does not look good on the model, it -- no question -- will not look good on you. It takes a lot of gall to charge big prices for these crappy frocks in the first place, but the retailers are also selling The [Wedding] Dream &c; trying to sell it a second time, when it simply looks lousy and advertises 'I was had,' is amoral.

Antler Chandelier

2009-05-16T08:46:00.000-07:00

"Buy mine for $600.00..." Hurry, these are going fast.

Etsy modelling special.

2009-05-10T10:12:00.000-07:00

"Dress"

christ tattoos look stupid on 97% of tattooed folk

"Sweater"

"Dress" 2

"Underpants on head man"

Dueling t-shirts

2009-05-09T11:20:00.000-07:00

T-shirts for children with messages that help promote positive attitudes and behaviors.

Albeit with some conflicts.

The thoroughly bizarre listing for the latter advises, "Use a pedifile to remove dry skin on heals." Might be hard to talk him into it if you're wearing the first tee, though.

3-in-1

2009-05-09T06:34:00.000-07:00

When closed it acts as a fire place with mantel. There is a log that you plug in to look like an actual fire.

But wait, there's more! When opened you can display the record player and 8 track tape machine.

A steal at $50. I like the shot glasses, knick-knackery, and tidy collection of phone books. All that's missing from is a set of wally dugs; it's a strangely Scottish display. This is classic basement Canadiana at its finest and I bet the "wood" parts have at least two hundred layers of Lemon Pledge on them.

From the same seller:

...unsurprisingly.

"Chair" and "table"

2009-05-07T06:44:00.000-07:00

For ur house!

$60.

LOLZ u make nice stuff

2009-05-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

After crapping on so many crafters I couldn't resist smiling about somebody doing a nice job. GrandmaLindasHouse ("Proud member of Wild Wise Witty Grandmamas Team") makes stylish Barbie garments at exceptionally reasonable prices.

Stylish coat with handknitted scarf, $8; retro tunic, $3, green paisley dress, $4. My daughter is not (yet?) a Barbie fan, but if she was I'd be shopping here. That she's taken the time to adorn the $4 dress with Barbie-scale buttons is amazing. Stylish stuff, and the reviews compliment the sewing. Nicely done, Grandma Linda.

Ew.

2009-05-05T10:19:00.000-07:00

In the used-furniture section of usedottawa.com: "A bed women love."

A "Black leathered frame, Queen size waterbed." In good shape; only a few notches.

Pipe cleaner heart ??? = PROFIT!!!

2009-05-04T09:19:00.000-07:00

There's a lot wrong with this -- it's ugly, it's an absurd $425 ("During these hard times I would be willing to work out a time period to pay for this lovely one of a kind piece!"), but the real LOLZ come from the pipe cleaner heart.

Like she had her six-year-old set it up. I'm surprised there's not a little pile of gold glitter beside it, too.

Shut up idiots!

2009-05-02T11:35:00.000-07:00

If you idiots are wise enough to state that this product is fake then why the hell will you purchase a 24 pcs MAC brushes if you all knew so well that a single MAC brush will cost about $20 and up. Stop your non-sense already and get on with your life, Before you buy something make sure to read the reviews and check for more information about the products that you're trying to purchase, I hate stupid people who will buy something and then return it just because they are DUMB. Why are you guys even coming here to amazon if you all have money to buy like what other people is saying,To get a cheap deal? But why still come here if you can afford to buy the original one, Why don't you just wait for the season sale and help yourself with all the authentic stuffs that you would like to purchase and or Why don't you just drag yourself to the mall and save yourself time and give us other buyers a break. Now a days more people are being wise on how to use their money and I'm not saying I'm siding to those people who produce fake products but So what if it's fake, I'm not saying its not usable.If it can save me money in all cost then why not, Quality is good is you have a lot of money in your pocket but if you don't then its quantity over quality. Stop with this harsh reviews already. If you suspect that there is something wrong with the price and the product then don't purchase it. It's as simple as that.

From a retailer of fake M.A.C. brushes on amazon.com

Custom ruffle rumba

2009-05-02T09:39:00.000-07:00

What is this?

A costume, some sort of Space Slut from a cartoon you haven't seen yet? No, it's "etsykids EURO shirred Black white and PINK Michael Miller Fabric custom Boutique Spring summer set," whatever the fuk that is. $120!

From the same bad seamstress -- check out the fall of these pants -- is a "BoUtiQue CuStom RuFFle RUMBA SIS BOOM Mod Girls Pant and Halter set PinK GreeN fun set bcmm hc."

A relative bargain at $65. But I don't even understand what this is. "bcmm hc"?? Where would you take a child wearing this? It's not dressy and I'm sure it's "too nice" (to somebody) for play. Custom ruffle rumba rolls off the tongue nicely, though.

Punk, through the eyes of a Mom in Oshawa.

2009-05-02T09:29:00.000-07:00

These are slightly less than truly terrible until you notice the price -- $115.

For that price, lady, you could've at least done it properly with liquid paper and ball-point pen, not sissy fabric paints. And found a decent colour and cut for the jeans.

If my daughter ever does this to her pants I'm going to make sure she does it properly...

i want to by this but i dont want to interact with u

2009-05-02T09:18:00.000-07:00

hi i have a play structure for sale and a teeter totter for sale u can buy them as the pair for 50 o.b.o or if u just want the one play structure is 40 o.b.o and the teeter totter is 20 o.b.o so let me know the lowest i well go for the play structure is 30 and the teeter totter well be 10 anyways on the plat structure theres like duct tape on the top of the slide but still works great let me know thanx and have a great day hi everyone i still have the play structure for sale so let me know thanx

Huh? Via usedottawa.com

Bad babywearing.

2009-04-29T10:50:00.000-07:00

Only on Etsy is an old bedsheet worth $35, and only on Etsy is an old bedsheet something people might conceivably want to wear.

Don't like slings? Try this wrap. The bad aesthetics of "mom jeans" aren't just for pants anymore! $65.

Just plain not into carrying your baby? That's cool; you can stuff him in an acrylic tube...

Chav 2-for-1

2009-04-29T07:41:00.000-07:00

This sort of thing always makes me feel a bit uneasy. Ottawa was, fairly recently, not large or poor enough to support this sort of thing. Moving to Washington, DC in 1997 I was amazed by all the skanky-looking 'nail boutiques.' You just don't, or at least didn't, see this sort of ghetto beauty salon stuff in suburban Canada...

And, as though that weren't bad enough on its own... Ottawa being metropolitan enough for designer knock-offs is a relative novelty, too.

Chav! Inappropriately advertised on ottawa.kijiji.ca.

A confusing exhibit.

2009-04-29T06:07:00.000-07:00

Kittydearest on Etsy offers a variety of "clothes" --

It's great stroke material, sure, but who's buying the "crafts" displayed here? Ill-fitting dresses made from old acrylic sweaters...this is bizarre stuff. It's like looking at a six-year-old wrapping herself up in the shower curtain and calling it an evening gown and talking about how she's going to be a fashion designer. But this six-year-old has tattoos and a URL, and the overall effect is unsettling.

Garage sale: $1, On-line: $175

2009-04-28T10:05:00.000-07:00

$175.00 firm. Adorn any room with this beautiful hand stitched girl with basket of flowers in an elegant gold frame. Size 19 1/2 x 23 1/2.

WAHM dreams die hard.

2009-04-27T12:35:00.000-07:00

WAHM = work-at-home mother.

They make some pretty awful stuff in order to cover the cable bill. Sometimes I feel bad and don't want to LOLZ at it, but sometimes it's so ridiculous you can't not. These 'bows' are a peeve of mine.

There's no dignity involved for the ladies making these or for the children getting them stuck on their heads. Even the little girl knows Mom's taste sucks.

Shit-eating grin via Screw you Mom I hate you so much for doing this to me. I look like a CLOWN. I hate you I hate you I hate you

All bows from bellainbows.com -- not merely purveyors of hideous head toppings, they're also running a gentle scam whereby they entice you to become a sales rep (sorry, "Sales Rep," capitalized) -- as soon as you send them $30. (And more: "The starter kit is not included in the $30 packet.")

Handmade underpants.

2009-04-27T10:09:00.000-07:00

"Because the sides tie for a custom fit, sizing is very adaptable and forgiving." Nothing, it turns out, says "sexy" like handmade underpants you bought on the web.

Etsy, of course. Presumably kin to this adult diaper:

A relative bargain at $10. "MODELLED BY MY SEXY 44 YEAR OLD PARTNER YOU WILL RECIEVE A FRESH MADE ONE AS HE'S PUT ALL THE SAMPLES IN HIS DRAWER:)" In a paper bag, under an old sweater. Please never mention them again.

I am teh hawt. I am teh designer!

2009-04-27T09:51:00.000-07:00

Only $265 for this "dress," "made from an antique quilt top and an antique cotton feed sack."

From the same seller, "Pretty Birdie," this "Pheasant" [sic] top. A steal at $65. "This garment can be worn many different ways. It can be worn various ways as a top, or as a skirt over leggings or shorts."

Mmm hmm. Very nice. Does this girl even know the only people who will even think of buying her junk are perverts who want to sniff it while looking at her pictures? I can't tell anymore.

What is it with these retards?

2009-04-27T09:37:00.000-07:00

What is it with these retards who see Craigslist et al and decide every bit of garbage in their house is worth something, and that lots of people want to drive over to buy these tiny-ticket items instead of getting it in a nearby shop with convenient hours? I mean the crap that wouldn't even get takers on Freecycle.

Drug addiction? Gambling problem? WTF? This lady wants to sell you old towels for ten bucks --

Via usedottawa.com. From the same seller, two make-up bags she got for free, for ten bucks again, which makes the whole thing greedy rather than merely, and more benignly, stupid:

Via.

The poor bastard.

2009-04-27T09:05:00.000-07:00

This made me do a little self-check where I had to go back and think if I had ever forced bad crafts on a boyfriend. I made some dubious hippy beaded necklaces in high school, but I think they were gratefully received at the time...

Price: $60!!

Via Etsy. This time of year everyone needs a hoodie, and one that can take you into the next season. What a great piece for layering. The hood's made a teense snug so as to 1) resemble Southpark Kenny some and 2) keep winds from blasting your ears... Like my baby and toddler hoodies, this one's made from scrap yarns, all acrylics.

Fashion Consultant & Personal Shopper.

2009-04-26T16:13:00.000-07:00

Headless personal shopper seeks frilly, green clients.

Via usedottawa.com. "Looking for a passionate fashion consultant or personal shopper to help you with your wardrobe? Look no further... "